Who Speaks for Amy

Like through a glass darkly, I see you
I'd rather not look, and still I see you
Like the body buried in the unknown soldiers grave
Your story easily slips back into the dark place it came from

Your story, one among the many
Playing out today, as they have for ages gone by.
I scream at the heavens, Why God? Oh WHY?

I'll tell you now what little I know of the story
Young woman, age fifteen, is given a chance.
One small window
She is allowed to leave the hospital that has become her home
To come to school

Pretty School, Clean School
All children want to learn to fit in
Even her?
Especially her?
Amy is retarded, severely disabled
Amy is psychotic, very, very crazy

Nice school, pretty classroom
Teacher smells like lavender
Amy learned to find her chair
and learned to open a door
That's right - her major accomplishment in three months
was to learn that -
She herself could open a door.
The entire procedure of opening the door for herself.
Different doors open different ways

Three months in the nice school
Three months with the teacher whose voice felt like honey
Then she had a bad weekend
So much we don't know
What happened on the bad weekend?
We do know she came to school and her behavior went from bad to worst
First screaming cuss words and kicking other kids
Her fury escalating like wildfire
Throwing chairs and plants, dirt flying
Police handcuffs, belts around her legs
Lovable, capable teacher, pretty teacher
Forced to lay on top of Amy to hold her down
Like a steer wrestled to the ground

Who is this girl Amy?
It is rumored her mother turned her out when she was five years old
Sold her to men for their pleasure
Cute little stupid girl

What happened that weekend?
We'll never know
What made Amy act out that day?
We can only guess
She had three months as a window
Into the little school room
Into a place that said...
She could learn to make her way

Amy, dear Amy
Her home is the psych ward
Where good people work hard shifts
Understaffed and underpaid
A few days later a staff person called the teacher
"Will you talk with Amy?"
On the other end of the phone while Amy begged to come back
The teacher already knew the door had closed

"I'm sorry Amy, but you can't come back.
You chose to act that way, and your behavior was bad
Remember, you did come to school and you did learn
You learned to open the door by yourself
Keep learning Amy, You are a sweetie
You need to get out of the hospital"

What could she say?
What would you say to this young soul,
Longing to come back, toward the light, toward the love
Poor Amy, she was only asking for her
Opportunity to be included

But she is VERY mentally slow, and oh -SO- crazy.
At any time her behavior will become
Noisy, violent, dangerous
The administration isn't prepared for Amy

Like through a glass darkly, I've seen you
I'd rather not look, but now I've heard
You are not alone Amy
You are one story told for many

Bless your heart Amy
It may seem there's nowhere to go but back into the dark hole
Please Amy, keep trying to find your way home.

Poem written 2-17-03 by Carolyn Churchill -- -- -- Fact based account